Sarah Tan – Personal Development

I’ve introduced this Ultimate Success Formula to many people, and they found it useful to achieve success. I first learnt about this model from a course I attended at AKLTG. I used it to apply to my fitness plan, and I reached my goal of running in a race.

First of all, you must believe in something. Perhaps you believe that you can succeed in this field, or achieve something in some area. It could also be a universal belief. Perhaps you believe that you are going to a great success in your work. For students, their beliefs could be something to do with their academic success and their ambitions.

Next, what we do is shaped by our values. Do we do something out of passion, or out of fear? Perhaps, some people fear being looked down by others if we do not make a name for ourselves. Or we could want to work hard in order to support our families as it is our responsibility to do so. We could also do something out of love or fame.

The next step requires setting a goal. The goal should be as specific as possible. Stretch yourselves and move forward. Perhaps you want to get promoted to a specific possible within two years. You could also want to publish a book by the end of this year. It would be great if you could decide what type of book you are going to write.

After setting the goal, we have to come up with strategies to ensure we take active steps to achieve our goal. The strategies must be specific. It should not read like New Year’s Resolutions which we know we seldom keep due to its vagueness and ambiguity.

Finally, we have to take action. Don’t end up like NATO – No Action, Talk Only. You can incorporate the Magic Rule of 21 and work on each strategy for 21 days in a row.  If we achieve success, then we can move on to other Ultimate Success Formulae. If we do not achieve success, then we have to take a second look at our goal. Is it something achievable? Strategies may have to be fine-tuned. Get a pen and a piece of paper, and start writing your Ultimate Success Formula.

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Self Confidence- How To Improve It For Making More Money? by cdmohatta

Self-confidence and making money go together. Have you ever met a person of very low self-confidence making lots of money? No, because unless some one is confident about themselves they cannot make money. Do you wish to make lots of money? Increase your self-confidence with these easy steps.

Forgive yourself every night about all the blunders you make during the day. Do not criticize yourself. Instead analyze your mistakes and find out what went wrong in a surgical manner. Do not involve any emotions. Analyze and find out how to correct things next time.’

Read books written by good authors. Write down the passages that you like. By writing, you develop hand and mind coordination and mind remembers the text more easily. Write down and paste the paper around the place you sit most.

Thank god and everybody else for any favor done to you. Attitude of gratitude is very important in life. When we express our thanks, we feel good. This feeling increases our confidence. Try it once and you will realize the relaxation and energy you feel.

Keep negative people away from you. There are many people who enjoy criticizing others. They try to put their friends down. Keep away from such people because they will take away your self-confidence. Keep company of those people who add to your confidence. Be with them who praise you for your achievements and qualities. They will add to your confidence.

Forget failures as soon as possible and remember your successes. Remembering failure makes us negative. Avoid that. Remember your good qualities and achievements. Thinking of failures makes us feel bad. That changes our thinking. Thinking of a smallest success makes us feel happy and adds to our confidence.

Help others whenever you get an opportunity. Smallest help will make you feel good. That will make you feel worthy and increase your self-esteem. Good luck.

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Have you ever wondered whether you can be a successful businessman, or a Nobel Prize winner? There is actually a way to help you reach your goal quickly. That is to hold a party where people dress up as what they envision themselves as in five years time.

If I want to be a successful author, what I can do is to design a book cover, with my face on it, of a best selling title and put it over another book, and bring it around. If I want to be a Singapore Olympic swimmer, I could put on my swimming costume and wear my track suit, complete with goggles and swimming cap, and walk around with gold medals hanging from my neck. For those who want to be superstars, they could go and get a makeover, and walk down the red carpet. What the host could do is to hire people to pretend they are reporters, or people from the paparazzi to make the party come alive.

When the guests arrive at the party, they should be in character, and talk to each other like how they would if they are in that position. For example, if I aim to be a successful San Diego plastic surgeon, I would be discussing the latest technology in liposuction or other reconstructive surgery, and gently pointing out how people could improve their looks through removal of eyebags. If I were a successful lawyer, I could give tips to the author on how to protect his copyrights, and get the author to interview the swimmer so that he could write the biography.

It may seem a little ridiculous, but when you are able to visualise yourself as a real person in your dream occupation, and get others to agree, it helps to reframe your mind that it is possible to do so.

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Visualisation is a very successful tool that helps us to be successful. Think of how big your light-blue three-storey semi-detached future house with full length windows on the second and third storeys is. The garden has a small pond with koi swimming inside and it is surrounded by many pink flowers. Butterflies are flying and your pet puppy is running around the garden chasing its tail.

As you remove your shoes and walk into the house, the floor is made of marble and abstract art paintings are hanging on the wall. The 42-inch plasma TV is nicely placed on the sideboard and you have cable TV connected. As you go to your room, up the stairs with timber covering, you see the light shining in from the small window.

When you enter your bedroom, you see a king-sized bed waiting for you. The luscious 500-thread count purple bed sheets are extremely soft on your skin as you relax on the huge bed. From your bed, you switch on the music using a remote control and your favourite tune comes on through the Bose speakers at the corner of your bedroom.

If your idea of success is to own a big house, don’t just think of a big house. The words will mean nothing. To successfully use the method of visualisation, put in detailed information. If you can pictures from magazines, cut them out and paste them onto a big piece of paper and put it up your wall. It will serve to remind you. When this is done, you will be more inclined to work towards your goals.

If your idea of success is to look good, think of how you can look good. Do you need to learn how to put makeup? Do you want to wear clothes from certain brands? Picture yourself wearing a black-coloured pantsuit with red fine lines. Think of how actresses smile and cut out beautiful pictures of them. If you want to look as good as them and are thinking of nose surgery, you could try Photoshop to make your nose sharper, just like Jennifer Anniston, and see whether you like the results. Perhaps varying the way you put makeup would suffice. This is much better than constantly whining about how ugly you look and not taking any action.

Whatever your picture of success is, take time out to think through it by using the power of visualisation to help you reach your goals.

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There are many people who wish to be rich, but they surround themselves with the wrong type of people, who think that only a select few can ever be really rich. One simple way I found was to go to a fine dining restaurant, though this is an expensive method. On my birthday, just one week ago, my husband brought me to a lovely French restaurant by the Singapore River. We were the first to arrive, so we had full attention. We had champagne and the sun was setting. It was a really romantic sight.

After some time, more people came in, and they were mostly people in the corporate world. They were all smartly dressed, and they talked about their companies and other things in the financial world. They could have been from the Forbes meeting held at Sentosa, or they could be other highfliers. What struck me was that they acted rich and confident. They certainly did not appear to be boastful, unlike some of the people you hear over coffeeshop talk. They certainly were having fun chatting, and definitely not complaining about how everyone in the world owed them a living.

Granted, since a dinner at that restaurant I was at cost at least $200 per person, these people must have been very successful to eat there on a normal working day. Of course, at their level, they would be able to charge the dinners on their company expenses. By being there, it spurred me on to be even more successful in whatever I do in order to be on par with them.

This reminded of the movie I watched last night. While watching Maid in Manhattan starring Jennifer Lopez and Ralph Fiennes, one scene that struck me was Jennifer’s mum only wanted to find her daughter a cleaning job after she was fired for wearing the client’s clothes. The daughter had dreams of being a manager in the hotel industry, but her mother did not seem to think she would matter much. Jennifer told her mother to stop thinking that she was incapable of bigger things. True enough, one year later, she worked her way up to be a manager, and she launched her own newsletter in the hospitality field. You might say it is a movie, but it shows us that nothing is impossible.

The people we choose to surround ourselves are very important, so if we need any reminders that we can excel and choose to lead the life we really want, we could go out and meet successful people. Even if you do not know enough successful people, being in their presence should not deter you, but they should inspire and motivate you. This does not mean we could become snobbish and only hang out with people of means. It so happens that people of means tend to have winner’s mindsets. Whether they can be found in Singapore restaurants or San Diego restaurants, do go and eat at fine dining restaurants once in a while. The law of attraction will help us reach our goals in a shorter time.

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Have you ever tried to arm wrestle and found it difficult to win? If you change your the way you think, you may be able to win. 

What we say and what we think affect our body. According to Jack Canfield in The Success Principles(TM): How to Get from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be, he mentioned a technique known as kinesiology which tested people’s muscle strength when they say different phrases.

I had personally tried out this technique before. When you push someone’s left arm down, get them to say ‘I can’t do something’ and try to resist your push. You will be able to succeed pushing the arm down.

If you say, ‘I will try to pass my driving’, you will get pushed down too.

However, if you say, ‘I can pass my driving’, or ‘I will pass my driving’ you will be able to resist that push.

You should not worry about what other people think of you. Are they the ones who are leading your life? Or are you the one leading your life?

Believing in yourself takes a lot of work, especially if you have been brought up to think that you amount to nothing much. It is not too late to change your mindset, because once you are able to overcome the difficulty in thinking about what you could do, it can become something really great!

Go ahead, get someone similar in built to try this out.

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I think my quest to improve and develop myself really started when I was in JC. I had found reading a chore for the past few years, because I did not know what novels to read. This was in stark contrast to my primary school days, where I read so voraciously. Enid Blyton and Carolyn Keene were some of my favourite authors. I competed with my friend to see who read the fastest. I could manage to finish a Nancy Drew book in 20 minutes, so I guess my speed reading skills developed from there.

Coming back to self-improvement, I was attracted by Daniel Goldman’s Emotional Quotient. It was just released then, and the ideas really made me start thinking about EQ. I had reasonable good IQ, but I found it difficult to interact with people sometimes. I can’t really recall the content – I definitely need to read it again, but I guess it was the first step. My tyrannical GP tutor, whom I am very appreciative of, asked what we were reading at the moment, and I told her I only read non-fiction, and I was juggling between this book and Hitler. She was extremely surprised as I did not appear to be someone like that.

The few other non-fiction books I read were related to education, happiness (which can be elusive at times) and horoscope (though some may disagree about this). When I started working, I was exposed to many leaders (some are international figures) in the personal development arena. They include Abe Wagner, Tony Buzan, Spencer Kagan, Ron Kaufman, Adam Khoo and Stuart Tan.

Over the years, I have bought a lot of non-fiction books, and at the same time, I’ve picked up novels again. I’m also constantly trying to apply what I’ve learnt to work and my personal life.

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I’m someone who strongly believes in learning from others. Many people had gone through the some problems as us, and many more faced worse tribulations in life. However, what makes these people different from us is their ability to bounce back from their failures and become extremely successful. It has to do with their mindset. Positive thinking is something that I am working hard towards.

In this website, I share whatever powerful messages I’ve learnt from books, workshops and other sources. I may not be an expert at everything yet, but I believe that with time, I will be able to achieve great success in whatever I am passionate about. This website also serves as a reminded of what I’ve learnt. The person who learns the most is the person who teaches the lessons. Hence, I hope that whatever I say here will be useful to others, and at the same time guide me to greater heights in personal development.

To find out more on how I started in personal development, do read that article.

Sarah Tan

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