Sarah Tan – Personal Development

The difficulty of certain projects often provokes a desire to delay or otherwise waste time before getting down to business. This urge to procrastinate can affect people’s lives as an occasional temptation or as a nearly irresistible habit, hinging upon the temperament of the individual.

In three particular fields of activity, namely college, business and home life, procrastination can cause an especially detrimental effect. A closer look at the underlying factors for procrastination in each of these settings can help illuminate some of the influences in the decision to procrastinate.

For many students, procrastination emerges as a significant problem during the first years of college. The college procrastinator is frequently an individual who, for one of several possible reasons, did not learn effective time management strategies during high school. Often accustomed to high school assignments that are purely short term or that have been broken down into a series of littler assignments by the high school teachers, the college procrastinator is at a loss to correct to college’s long term assignments. In some examples, the college procrastinator underestimates the difficulty of a term report or end-of-semester project because the professor does not perpetually remind the class about the forthcoming deadline.

For this reason, the difficulties faced by the college procrastinator can be seen as a failure to adjust from a structured, regulated learning environment into an environment where independent time management skills are necessary. Once the need for discipline and organization has been recognized, a few elementary tools, such as a day planner, can help the college procrastinator organize a self-structured series of goals and deadlines for long-term assignments.

Whereas the college procrastinator might evade a difficult assignment by playing computer games or socializing, the business procrastinator is oft more subtle in his or her strategy. Rather than engaging in meaningless amusements, which might be punished if discovered, the business procrastinator often wastes time on activities that are in fact part or his or her job description but that are not the most important tasks at the moment.

In some cases, a lack of confidence in the ability to successfully complete difficult assignments compels the business procrastinator to pursue easy, straightforward minor tasks. In other situations, an inability to recognise high- and low-priority assignments causes the business procrastinator to perceive that the simple jobs are just as crucial as the complicated ones, leaving the business procrastinator no cause to pursue the more Herculean tasks.

To remedy this circumstance, the business procrastinator first must learn to recognize which tasks have the most potential to impact the success of the business itself and to affect the course of business in the long term. Once this has been achieved, the business procrastinator can analyze long-term, complicated tasks into a series of manageable deadlines so that it's not quite so intense.

Instead of being unable to face a deadline, the home-life procrastinator is often ill at ease with the never-ending nature of daily home-related chores. Yard work, home repairs, cleaning and meal preparation can all assume the uninspiring role of routine inconveniences in a person’s life. As incomplete chores accumulate over time, the home-life postponer begins to feel the pressure of house work invading the joys of routine life.

To counter this situation, a specific time should be set aside each week to schedule a reasonable number of weekly chores. By naming which tasks should be accomplished on which day, the home-life procrastinator can gain control over the amount of work. And by fixing certain tasks to certain days, the procrastinator could stop feeling blameworthy about any unfinished chores provided that he or she has attained the chores earmark for the present day.

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I wondered why it took me so long to discover Shopaholics the book series. When I read the first few pages, I totally couldn’t stand Becky. She was such a weakling who kept buying clothes and useless stuff. It was later then I realised there were other things we had in common.

My weakness is books. I’m always buying books and borrowing them. I borrow my husband’s library card, and I borrow 20 books at one go. Sometimes, I borrow from the public library at the same time, and borrow a lot more. Then I end up not having enough time to read them, and I just have to return them. I have bought a number of books which had not been unwrapped. My book shelves are full and I tried to bring them to my workplace and put them in the shelves, but even then, when my companies hold condemned library book giveaways, I bring back so many more and they are left unread.

Sometimes, people lack the discipline to know what they need and what they want. They think that everything is important. When I borrow books, I go for the cover, the feel of the book, the font of the book, the author, and sometimes I read a few pages to see whether I liked them. However, when I buy and borrow so many at a time, they lack the attention.

Whether it is an addiction to shopping or books, many of us have such momentary lapses of judgement. I am a bookaholic. I have a lot of work piling up and I still spend so much time on them. Other people are workaholics. It is a disguised legitimate way of caving in to our addictions. People who spend a lot of time at work say that they are doing their best to move up the ladder, to bring home the bacon and because it gives them satisfaction when they are doing well.

Look at it this way. When a student is addicted to computer games, the parents will scold the child and threaten to take away the modem, or the computer. However, this does not help much. It only spoils the relationship because the child refuses to comply with the instructions. Each time they spend on the computer, they want to move up just one more level, buy one more weapon, kill one more soldier or monster or just earn more points to buy food for the pet. Isn’t this similar to workaholics who just want to get one more promotion, one more month of bonus, one more hour to touch up the presentation?

You may say that by touching up the presentation, you will gain the clients’ confidence. By spending that one more hour or two or more at work, you prove to the boss that you can move up. This is just similar to the computer addiction, and yet, have you thought of the detrimental effects? Your relationship with your family gets affected. Your eyesight deteriorates because of that long hours of not blinking in front of the computer. You pile on fats around the waist. You keep falling sick because you refuse to rest. You are stuck in a rut because you failed to upgrade yourself or relax properly. 

Think through what you can do to cut the addictions out of your life and get a balanced life. It’s time to smell the roses.

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I retook an exam last year after being hung up about my results many years ago. I did not need this exam result at all, but it was more to prove to myself that I can succeed. I got the best grade possible which was a huge improvement from my previous grade.

While results are not everything, the reasoning behind taking the examination is important. When we want to motivate ourselves and succeed, we have to set out a clear action plan to succeed. Some people may talk about doing something constantly, such as learning French, learning driving or going on a dive trip, but do not take any action to see it through.

The grade I got was not important. It was just a reflection on how determined I was to improve myself after so many years. By going for the examination itself and ignoring what other people said about me (yes, a number of people who found out actually laughed at me), I was challenging myself to get to greater heights. In addition, I did not want to regret things that I did not do so well. It’s futile wasting your time regretting something. By taking action, I attract better things in life as well.

This little achievement helps me to improve my confidence in one area and I plan to use this achievement to help other people succeed.

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I’ve been following a Hong Kong drama serial, Heart of Greed, starring Moses Chan and many other top actors and actresses and one of the characters, Alfred, kept scolding his girlfriend, Tsueng Choi Sum, stupid. He did not like her borrowing money from people or lending money to her brother, because the brother always raked up debts from failed business ventures. Granted, there was reason for him to feel that borrowing or lending money was bad, but he should respect her enough not to call her names.

I had a friend who complained about her then boyfriend calling her stupid and other names. She was extremely upset and despite telling him about how she felt when he did that, he continued whenever he was upset with things.

No matter how angry you are with somebody, do not call the person names, or say the person is stupid. Words can hurt and they may affect one’s self esteem.

However, I also thought the lead actress was silly to constantly allow him to call her stupid. They quarrelled over this matter, but she would always take him back. If he couldn’t respect her, she should not continue the relationship.

It goes the same for how other people treat you. If your parents or boss say such mean things to you, do not allow them to do so. You should control how you feel and not let others control your emotions. More importantly, do not allow them to undermine your self confidence. Stand up for yourself and say in a polite but firm tone that they should treat you with respect.

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Self Confidence- How To Improve It For Making More Money? by cdmohatta

Self-confidence and making money go together. Have you ever met a person of very low self-confidence making lots of money? No, because unless some one is confident about themselves they cannot make money. Do you wish to make lots of money? Increase your self-confidence with these easy steps.

Forgive yourself every night about all the blunders you make during the day. Do not criticize yourself. Instead analyze your mistakes and find out what went wrong in a surgical manner. Do not involve any emotions. Analyze and find out how to correct things next time.’

Read books written by good authors. Write down the passages that you like. By writing, you develop hand and mind coordination and mind remembers the text more easily. Write down and paste the paper around the place you sit most.

Thank god and everybody else for any favor done to you. Attitude of gratitude is very important in life. When we express our thanks, we feel good. This feeling increases our confidence. Try it once and you will realize the relaxation and energy you feel.

Keep negative people away from you. There are many people who enjoy criticizing others. They try to put their friends down. Keep away from such people because they will take away your self-confidence. Keep company of those people who add to your confidence. Be with them who praise you for your achievements and qualities. They will add to your confidence.

Forget failures as soon as possible and remember your successes. Remembering failure makes us negative. Avoid that. Remember your good qualities and achievements. Thinking of failures makes us feel bad. That changes our thinking. Thinking of a smallest success makes us feel happy and adds to our confidence.

Help others whenever you get an opportunity. Smallest help will make you feel good. That will make you feel worthy and increase your self-esteem. Good luck.

CD Mohatta writes text for myspace graphics and myspace comments. The site offers layouts, codes, surveys, etc. for myspace users. Do try quizzes at funquizcards.
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Hypnotherapy to Improve Confidence by Gemma Bailey

Confidence can be hard to pin down at times! Most people have had the experience of observing someone they know at a party or in a work situation, communicating with ease and naturally, without a hint of self-consciousness and have thought, “Why cant that be me?”

People look to hypnotherapy training, Herts for all types of confidence problems. It may be that you lack confidence within specific relationships or situations, you may want to be more assertive or to become a better public speaker. Perhaps you want to be able to share some of the knowledge and ideas that you hold back because of lack of confidence, or you find it difficult to speak up in front of groups of people. Some people feel they lack confidence in all areas of their lives. All these experiences are common and can be helped by hypnotherapy, Herts.

Of course, in life there will always be natural differences among people. Some people just seem to be more introverted, whilst others seem to enjoy the limelight and draw others towards them with ease. Whether confidence is a problem is self-defined by the individual. If it impacts on your life in subtle or more obvious ways and you feel frustrated or held back by lack of confidence, then hypnotherapy courses may benefit you.

Hypnotherapists use hypnosis to bring about positive therapeutic changes in order to help people solve problems, such as lack of confidence. Hypnosis is an experience characterised by deep relaxation, a concentrated focus and increased sensory alertness. This state of mind occurs spontaneously and people slip in and out of this state, known as ‘trance’, all the time, in everyday life. Examples of trance states include fantasising about someone you are attracted to, becoming deeply immersed in a book, being anxious about an event causing you to re-live what could go wrong over and over in your head and daydreaming. As you may see from the examples given, trance states can be positive or negative, depending on what is being focused on.

Hypnotherapists induce deeply relaxing trance states because when a person is deeply relaxed, access to the unconscious mind is enabled. The hypnotic process is wonderfully pleasant and relaxing, which in itself is beneficial for people who lack confidence and experience stress and worry on a regular basis. Being free of stress and worry, during the hypnotic process, allows the therapists to pack your unconscious mind with positive suggestions of confidence. Whilst in this state you also get to practice situations in which you will act with confidence and conviction, through a process known as visualisation.

Hypnotherapy can also be effective in removing negative associations that you have developed between situations and feeling unconfident and it can also be used to remove and free you from negative emotions from the past. Sometimes self-esteem can be related to childhood experiences and these can be dealt with through at Hypnotherapy, Herts.

During your hypnotherapy treatment, the hypnotherapist will also work with you to achieve confidence through a technique called anchoring, which involves learning to develop an association between an external trigger, and a emotional response. Anchors develop all the time in everyday life as the human mind attempts to understand your environment by looking for patterns between things. Not all anchors are positive. People learn to make negative associations between things, such as feeling anxious or worried when they are required to give a presentation to colleagues. Your hypnotherapist can work with you to remove negative anchors.

If you are fed up with being held back or not being able to do what you dream of doing because of lack of confidence, book your appointment with a hypnotherapist now!

Welcome to People Building, a self development company dedicated to inspiring growth, progression and better results in your life. It is our privilege to present to you authentic NLP and Hypnosis training at NLP Practitioner Level, NLP Master Practitioner and Hypnotherapy Diploma, for those in Hertfordshire, Bedfordshire, Buckinghamshire and London. We will never cease to evolve, and it gives me great pleasure, to invite you with us on this epic adventure.

http://www.peoplebuilding.co.uk

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There are some people who constantly hide their heads in the sand, like an ostrich, when confronted with problems. They think that by doing nothing, the problems will go away. Tough luck. Usually, the longer we delay, the bigger the problem gets. This has something to do with how we perceive pain and pleasure, which I’ll talk more about.

Instead of wallowing in self-pity, why not take some action? It’s just like being stuck in a job you hate. Day in and day out, you lack the drive to succeed at your workplace, and have to drag your feet to work. Instead of punishing yourself, (and your colleagues who have to listen to your grumbles and bear with your lack of enthusiasm in various projects, why not do something about it and follow through with the plan. By the time they decide to do something about the job they hate, they find themselves too old to change to a new field or company.

In another example, one of the worst nightmares for men is premature balding. Loss of hair leads to lack of self-confidence for some of them, and it can even bring about depression in more serious cases. Having a head full of head represents vitality and youth, so losing one’s hair may mean the opposite. Whether the man is 30 or 50, hair loss is something that is dreaded by many.

If the hair loss damages one’s self-esteem, there are ways to solve the problem. Grab the problem by its roots (pardon the pun). There is plenty of medicine available for hair re-growth. However, if the man has dragged his feet in solving the problem, it would be futile as medication works best on thinning hair, not a bald head. By the time they act, they may have to having hair transplant, perhaps in San Francisco hair restoration surgeries are easily available for them to go through. Of course, it is not so painful now compared to last time, but it is still a surgery and risks are involved. For these people to take a step forward to actually go through hair restoration procedures, they are brave enough to face the truth.

Or, it could be like what Anthony Robbins said in his book, that when the pain of something overrides the pleasure of something else, that is when people take action. Hence, perhaps the pain of being laughed for a receding hairline at finally tips over the scale of the pleasure of escaping from actual action of solving the hair issue.

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In The Next Internet Millionaire episode 5, I was struck by a point that was made. Let me paraphrase it: Why is a bush with so many thorns and just a few roses known as a rose bush and not a thorn bush? I am amazed by this simple question about positive thinking. People should look at the beauty of things and apply that technique to their lives instead of constantly dwelling on the hurt and ugliness of things around us.

There are many events that may make us feel demoralised, but our response to that should be to see the beauty that event brings. There may be new opportunities that spring up when we think something bad has happened. There is a saying that misery loves company, but I think that the opposite is true too. People may bond over setbacks, but after a certain point, it gets too much to bear. Conversely, happy people become happier when they are together and the self-confidence they have will just rub off other people.

We can choose to see what we want: a half-filled glass of water, or a half-empty glass of water. I have never really understood the power of positive thinking, until in recent years when I started to spend more time reading about motivation and positive thinking.

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Would you walk down the same small stretch of road for the entire day until the movie directors get a good shot? A group of active senior citizens from either a retirement village in Florida or some nursing homes in New York City became actors for the first time in the entire life, and they are enjoying every moment.

I caught In Her Shoes, starring Cameron Diaz and Toni Collette recently. Cameron Diaz acted as someone who could not hold down a proper job and had problems scouring a job due to her dyslexia. After upsetting her sister and being kicked out of her home by her stepmother, she ran to find her longlost grandmother.

What amazed me was that the grandmother was living with many active senior citizens, and they led active lifestyles. They did not stop learning, or exercising, and it was something very different from the nursing homes in Singapore. I was very impressed with the interviews with the senior citizens, and some of them wanted to hire agents so that they could continue with their Hollywood career.

It is never too late to have a dream or even a career change. It is important to find out the passion in your life. Diaz finally found what she was looking for when she had to look after people at the hospital. A retired professor forced her to read to him, and when he discovered she had a reading problem, he taught her skills. That realisation that she was not stupid made her increase her self confidence tremendously.

Many of us spend a lot of time on work, but we do not take time off to improve ourselves, relax or even do exercises. Sometimes, we only regret when it is too late, when our bodies protest from the years of abuse.

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Silvio Berlusconi is a former Prime Minister of Itatly, and I chanced upon a photo of him wearing a bandana while having a stroll with the former Prime Minister of Britian, Tony Blair. We certainly will not catch our local politicians dressed so flamboyantly. It turned out that Berlusconi had just had hair restoration and he was protecting his skin.

Hair on politicians is quite a big issue with politicians, since voters like to see well-groomed politicians. When one magazine did a poll with voters, they said that having grey hair made a politician looked more distinguished, and hence, they were more likely to vote for him. Unfortunately, this opinion is different outside of politics.

There’s a saying that people depend on what they wear to look good, and it is important. One local actress said that she went for interviews with our national carrier 10 times, and they did not accept her application because she did not put makeup. When she finally did on the tenth occasion, she was accepted. It goes to show how people view appearances.

While I am not saying that we should spend lots of money on looking good, we should take an effort to look presentable. If spending some money to look good in order to boost our confidence, it is worth considering, though having hair restoration can be a somewhat drastic move.

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