Category Archives: Psychology

Scrambling Negative Experiences

For the past few months, I had been seriously contemplating a career switch, or at the worst case scenario, I’ll just stay at home and do my own stuff. I had been feeling very stressed at work, and I did not look forward to going to work. I would cry when I drive to work, but after reading Awaken The Giant Within by Anthony Robbins, I decided to do something about it.

To get rid of negative thoughts, play the scenes where you feel really lousy about yourself. See those experiences like a movie. It could be that of a bad breakup, or your boss scolding you, or any experiences that you have extremely negative vibes about.

After that, replay the scenes backwards at extra fast speed. Distort the scenes and make one person’s head big, or if someone had said something nasty, watch how they swallow their words and imagine the words rushing out from the years like steam. If someone had been nasty, imagine their faces being distorted, or their ears growing till Dumbo’s size. Make the faces green or purple. Then, fast forward the movie, and then backwards many times, until the entire negative experiences become cartoonish and laughable. Add your favourite cartoon’s funny sounds or soundtrack with as much exaggeration and humour.

If you can do this effectively, whatever that has been affecting you for years will no longer affect you. You have broken the pattern of associating such images to pain. Instead, you will see such situations differently.

I tried that, and while I cannot say whether it is hundred percent successful, I already feel so much better about going to work, and even though the workload is still very heavy, I’m actually enjoying myself. I still have some way to go before I resolve my issues about my career path, but for now, I am feeling way better than I did a few months back.

By doing this, you get to break the negative thought pattern. You scramble the sensations. Try it and let me know in your comments. It could be about your phobia towards creatures such as cockroaches and lizards, or an unhappy relationship, or fears about public speaking.

Getting People To Say Yes – Overcoming Rejection

The young kids know this very well. Whenever they want a toy or something, they will keep pestering the parents till they succeed. When I read the One Minute Millionaire, by Mark Victor Hansen and Robert Allen, there was a story about a woman who overcame rejection to get what she wants.

Usually, there are three rejections that a person will face before succeeding. However, too many people give up after the first rejection. When the topic is breeched for the first time, the decision-maker will not be receptive yet, because it takes time for the thought to be in the mind. The second time the request is made, the decision-maker will say no again, but this time round, the thought has taken root in the person’s mind. However, even more people give up after the second rejection. If the person dares to try again, and faces the third rejection, the decision-maker will start to waver. As long as the person asks the person what it will take for a yes, half a battle is won. Usually, there is a way to meet the demands.

Actually, this idea corresponds with the Chinese way of demanding their way. This dramatic way has three steps too. The first step is to cry. The second step is to create a scene. The third step is to pretend to hang herself, or to use death as a threat. Of course, this is a little over the top, but the philosophy is the same. Usually, a person will cave in after saying no for three times. If you look at this on the flip side, getting teenagers to stay out of trouble, such as smoking, drinking, drugs or sex, is quite tough when they surround themselves with people who constantly badgers them to try something new.

If we use this to our advantage in getting our way without bringing harm to others, then this psychology will be useful. It is just like fire. We can let fire engulf us, or we can control fire to cook food. Anyone who uses psychology to do bad things will not be able to stay successful for long. 

80/20 Pareto Rule

I’m reading books on a vengeance. I bought a couple of books yesterday, and I bought 2 books last week. Currently, I’m reading the 4-hour work week by Tim Ferris. It’s pretty mind-blowing how a person can just clock in 4 hours a week and yet earn the same amount in a month which one usually makes in a year.

One thing that I have learnt is the 80/20 Pareto rule. I have read about this a couple of times, but I did not fully comprehend it. Basically, you will find that 20% of the things will cause 80% of your unhappiness and problems. At the same time, 20% of the sources will cause 80% of you happiness.

For example, you may have toxic relationships with 2 out of 10 people. 80% of the time that you are unhappy or stressed, it is caused by them. If you could eliminate them from your lives, you will be much happier. At the same time, 2 out of 10 people will let you feel happiest when you are working with them. If you concentrate on them, your value and earnings will increase a few folds.

Hence, go and find out what are the things that work well most of the time, and what don’t, and then try to eliminate them. Don’t think you need to catch all the fish in the world. The two fish you catch may be the piranhas you want to let go.

Psychological Test: Garages

I’ve once used a psychological test to determine the personality and the family situation of teenagers through drawing of a person, a house and a tree. By just letting them draw without any further instructions, except to add in as much detail as possible, and not letting the lack of any drawing talent deter them from drawing, these people just drew.

I had a book that I borrowed from the library that analysed the personalities of them. Some of them were vain and self-centred, or some of them had a dominant parental personality, or some face family problems. All these were easily shown on the drawings. If there is violence in the family, it is quite easy to see from the shape of the tree. It could also tell me whether they have any plans in the future or they are thinking of taking a break.

One of the analyses focuses on garages. The larger the garage is, the more freedom the teenagers want. The garage is a place for cars, and cars symbolise freedom or a means of escape. How does your garage look like in real life, if you have one? Some people simply have concrete flooring. However, the garage is a place where you park your car, and how it looks may affect how you feel.

There are many types of flooring for the garage available. You can choose to have designs similar to a chess board. What’s important is the grip. You don’t want your car to slide. Some of the floor tiles can be interlocking, so you can simply just lock them together to form a pattern. Or you can have epoxy flooring, where a coat is applied over the concrete and it can last for years. Currently, I see some older places with cracked tiles. It’s time to get a change. My friend’s place has nice floor tiles that goes with the entire design. The only problem is I can never park my car inside because there is no space for me.

When you can take care of your own garage floors, perhaps you are better at taking care of your own psychological needs. Is it time for you to look into your own psychological needs?