Category Archives: Positive Thinking

10 Tips To Help You Start Taking Control with Positive Thinking.

10 Tips To Help You Start Taking Control with Positive Thinking.

At first glance, it would seem that positive thinking and Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) have nothing to do with one another. But many of us with ADD develop negative thinking patterns because we become frustrated by our challenges and frequent feelings of being overwhelmed. This negative outlook then makes it even harder for us to manage those challenges and move forward.

Positive thinking will help people with ADD to better concentrate on their accomplishments and strengths, giving them more motivation and joy in life. It will help in better using your time to work on making progress, rather than feeling discouraged and helpless. The following tips provide practical suggestions that you can use to help you shift into more positive thinking patterns :

1. Take Good Care of Yourself

When you take good care of yourself by eating healthy, exercising and getting adequate rest, it is much easier to be positive.

2. Make a List of the Things You are Grateful for in Life

When you take the time to remember some of the things that are good in your life, then stress from the challenges you face are not as difficult. Taking just 60 seconds a day to stop and appreciate the good things will make a huge difference.

3. Don’t give in to ’making assumptions’, but instead discipline your mind to look for proof or actual facts.

A fear of not being liked or accepted sometimes leads us to assume that we know what others are thinking, but our fears are usually not reality. For instance, if you are worried or fearful that someone is in a bad mood because of something you did, or that people are secretly gossiping behind your back about you, then you should ask them if it is true or not. Don’t waste time worrying that you did something wrong unless you have proof that there is something to worry about.

4. Refrain from Using Absolutes

Have you ever told a partner “You’re ALWAYS late” or complained to a friend “You NEVER call me”. Thinking and speaking in absolutes like “always” and “never”, makes the situation seem worse than it is, and programs your brain into believing that certain people are incapable of delivering.

5. Get Rid of ALL Negative Thoughts that cause Anxiety

Our thoughts determine the way we live and therefore you need to discern them and discipline yourself to overcome negative thinking. If you notice yourself having a negative thought, detach from it, recognize it for what it really is and don’t follow it.

6. Squash the “ANTs”

In his book “Change Your Brain, Change Your Life,” Dr. Daniel Amen talks about “ANTs” – Automatic Negative Thoughts.

These are the bad thoughts that are usually reactionary, like “Those people are laughing, they must be talking about me” or “The boss wants to see me, it must be bad”! When you notice these thoughts, realize that they are nothing more than ANTs and squash them!

7. Begin to show your family and friends positive physical contact with a hug, smile, pat on the back or welcoming handshake.

You don’t have to be an expert to know the benefits of a good hug. Showing positive physical contact with your family and friends and even your pets, is a great ’feel good’ interaction, one that we all need in life. One research study on this subject had a waitress touch some of her customers on the arm as she handed them their checks. Her tips were noticeably higher from the ones she touched, then from the customers she did not touch!

8. Increase Your Social Activity

Loneliness feeds on negative thinking and one way to combat it, is by increasing social activity in your life. Find people you can be with that are happy and positive in their outlook on life, then you will notice how very contagious that sort of thinking can be.

9. Be Involved with Helping Other People or Volunteer in an Organization

Once you help other people that are hurting, you will also help yourself, because you will feel good inside knowing you helped to make a positive difference in someone’s life. You can volunteer your time, your money, or your resources. You may have heard it said, ’Give and it shall be given’, this is a true saying and the more positive energy you put in the world, the more you will get back.

10. Have a New Thought Pattern to Fight Against Depressing Thoughts.

A great way to stop thinking unconstructive thoughts is to interrupt the pattern by forcing yourself to begin thinking and doing something completely different. Begin to change your old thinking patterns of focusing on the negative. That way of thinking is never productive, but only leads to stress and unnecessary anxiety. Try changing your physical environment – go for a walk or sit outside. Or, you could call a friend, turn on some music or look at a magazine.

Find sayings, scripture verses or quotes that will help motivate you to remain positive in your thinking, the following are some of my favorites: Oprah Winfrey – “Think like a queen. A queen is not afraid to fail. Failure is another steppingstone to greatness.” “Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours” – A Swedish Proverb

Scrambling Negative Experiences

For the past few months, I had been seriously contemplating a career switch, or at the worst case scenario, I’ll just stay at home and do my own stuff. I had been feeling very stressed at work, and I did not look forward to going to work. I would cry when I drive to work, but after reading Awaken The Giant Within by Anthony Robbins, I decided to do something about it.

To get rid of negative thoughts, play the scenes where you feel really lousy about yourself. See those experiences like a movie. It could be that of a bad breakup, or your boss scolding you, or any experiences that you have extremely negative vibes about.

After that, replay the scenes backwards at extra fast speed. Distort the scenes and make one person’s head big, or if someone had said something nasty, watch how they swallow their words and imagine the words rushing out from the years like steam. If someone had been nasty, imagine their faces being distorted, or their ears growing till Dumbo’s size. Make the faces green or purple. Then, fast forward the movie, and then backwards many times, until the entire negative experiences become cartoonish and laughable. Add your favourite cartoon’s funny sounds or soundtrack with as much exaggeration and humour.

If you can do this effectively, whatever that has been affecting you for years will no longer affect you. You have broken the pattern of associating such images to pain. Instead, you will see such situations differently.

I tried that, and while I cannot say whether it is hundred percent successful, I already feel so much better about going to work, and even though the workload is still very heavy, I’m actually enjoying myself. I still have some way to go before I resolve my issues about my career path, but for now, I am feeling way better than I did a few months back.

By doing this, you get to break the negative thought pattern. You scramble the sensations. Try it and let me know in your comments. It could be about your phobia towards creatures such as cockroaches and lizards, or an unhappy relationship, or fears about public speaking.

How To Get Emotionally Charged People To Listen To You

My mother had always been a superstitious person. She always thought that whenever she made fun of something, it would happen to us. For example, when she was younger, she laughed at a person who was pimply-faced. My brother and I grew up with bad acne, and we were on medication for years. She felt it was her fault and kept blaming herself.

There was another occasion, when pop rings were introduced. One of her students licked a lollipop that was placed on a plastic ring, and she was quite irritated with her. When she came home that very day, she saw my brother and I doing the same thing. She was always puzzled why such things would happen even though she really hated them. Well, she might be on to something. That was the Law of Attraction.

When you have either positive thoughts or negative thoughts, the brain waves will transmit them to the other party. When there are enough of them, they will influence the other parties. If you are extremely close to someone, you can know what they are thinking. That’s because they will be sending out some kind of signals, and your brain waves are in sync with each other.

I have mentioned this before, about how I dealt with the difficult clients. I was in the middle of my work when the clerk came running to me, saying one client had come unannounced and he was being very insistent that he had to see me. He claimed that he had been working a few days without much sleep and he had no other time to meet me. This was the same person I spoke to the other time over the phone, and it was not a pleasant experience. So, I decided to use what I preach, and tried to think positive thoughts, that the meeting would go on smoothly. I would get the other party to see my point. I also decided to smile and block out other thoughts that could make the meeting unsuccessful.

To my expectations, the client was not as bad as I thought. I had heard horror stories of how he had lost his temper badly before, but he was alright. We talked, and he was able to open up. In fact, he asked whether I would continue to be on his case next year. I felt bad at saying something that might change, since I was considering a career change, but since nothing was confirmed, I told him that I would continue to be if there were no other changes. It was not a real answer, but he was satisfied. When he left, he even said that I was caring and helpful. Coming from someone who had felt the organisation was against him, the words carried weight.

Unfortunately, when I met with two other clients later, tears became the norm. We were sitting outside at the reception area. I met with the first group of clients there. One of them broke down and cried. She was sitting at this particular seat that was facing the greenery. After the longest time, the two left.

I had two other groups of clients waiting, and they could see what was going on. I made a mistake of getting the next client to sit at the same place, and all the negativity was still in the air. Everything went on smoothly, when suddenly, the lady sitting in the same seat as the former client opened up to me about her personal situation, and started crying. Within half an hour, I had at least two people crying.

I decided that the negativity was enough for the day, and I had to make some switches. The last party who had seen everything was sitting beside us, so I switched over when the lady left, and I changed position. The stuff we had to talk about was similar, as they had their emotional baggage and pain, but at least I tried to inject more positive thinking.

My mother knows something about how thinking affects situations, but she pinned it down to superstition. It is actually more of the Law of Attraction.

Using Positive Vibes To Leave Clients Satisfied

I put in 14 hours for two days running at work, and I was really tired out by the end of it. We had to meet people and relay the performances of their charges to them. Some of them were quite friendly, while others were quite demanding, by saying the fault lay with us when they should be the ones who take responsibilities.

On yesterday’s afternoon, I had to make calls to a few people to check whether they were turning up for the session at night. One of them was rather antagonistic and I started to feel all the negative vibes. I forced myself to keep smiling so that the person would calm down. Towards the end, it ended on an ok note, though he did not turn up at night.

After receiving so much negative vibes, I continued to make another call. This was a mistake I made. By bringing all the negative feelings from the other caller, I had inadvertently caused the next caller to pick up all the negative vibes and it simply triggered off from her an outpouring of frustrations and complaints on our side. She only had a few points to talk about, and each point she repeated at least 10 times using the same phrases. The accusations were mainly directed at other staff, but she still heaped all those things on me. I should have learnt better managing skills in such as telling her that it was not right make such accusations on everyone, or learning the 80/20 rule where the worst customers should be dropped.

What I did was to continue to let her pour out her grievances, and just show her that I was listening. However, I decided I had to take charge of the conversation. I decided to change my negative vibes and try to think positive thoughts that the conversation will end well. I also remembered my friend and ex-colleague telling me that when people complain, they want something to be done. So as the person in authority, we should come up with a plan to help them resolve their issues. I also came up with a strategy for better monitoring and she accepted it.

Finally, after 40 minutes of her mainly making 4 points, I could put the phone down. It was much later my colleague came to me and told me that the same lady had bombarded her for one and half hours on the same issues and she even revealed something more shocking. I totally agree with Jeanette of Good Vibe Blog, that when we persist, they resist. It’s really the Law Of Attraction.

When I checked the list of people I wanted to see, one of my supervisors came to tell me that one particular lady would talk for extremely long and could be quite difficult to handle as she wanted step-by-step explanations on every single thing. Immediately, I channelled the negative thoughts again, and when I asked my colleague who used to handle her, he told me the same thing and how careful I had to be.

I was a little affected by the two negative calls, and what my colleagues told me but I decided not to concentrate on such negativity. I decided to think how easy and quickly the meeting with her and others will go. I started thinking about how smooth the process will be, and how on time we will finish the discussions.

Hence, I used my secret weapon and just smiled and smiled. I also kept those waiting to see us happy by showing pictures of their charges and other activities. The difficult person did not turn up, and the lady I thought would take extremely long was actually quite reasonable and we finished on a good note. I had also brought up something good about her charge and she was so happy about it. So I guess focussing on positive things worked.

My supervisor who said something about “We will Survive” instead of “We will Excel”, our usual slogan, and she really channelled the negative vibes was still talking to clients when I left. The other colleague who told me how to handle that “difficult” client ended up spending more time there than anticipated. And I was actually the first one to leave. When I looked at the other meeting rooms, there were still many clients inside there milling around, and when I finally left my workroom, these people were not back yet. Positive thinking really works!

Mental Association

Mental Association is something that you cannot ignore. I was going through a near meltdown just two days ago, because my holiday from work was ending, and I was going back to work. I had come to associate my work with a lot of negative stress. One reason is that I cannot cope with the amount of work.

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I still had to complete my work and there was no way I could run away from it. I went for a meeting before my break was over, and the bosses stressed how important meeting the deadline was and the quality of the report determined how our performance would be graded. I felt myself squirming in my seat. Another colleague showed us his report for us to take a look, way before the deadline.

Instead of going through the same problem that I face all the time, I decided to change my mental associations. It’s called mental disassociations. Instead of associating writing reports to high stress levels, I changed that. I decided to visualise how easy it was for me to find the information, and how easy it was for me to write a report based on the information. I also decided to break the steps down into easier parts, and get started. Usually, I faced difficulty in starting on my work because I had this mental association of how tough it was to find the information I wanted.

To my surprise, I found the information I wanted quickly. It was the second google attempt, and the first file I clicked on that got me what I wanted. Now that I have shifted my mental association, I am going to find the next piece of information as easily as I did, and I am sure I will complete the work by tonight. After all, I had already visualised myself completing that, and working on something else the next day.

Update: I probably need more practice. I took an extra day to complete that, but throughout doing this, my stress levels were extremely low, and I still managed to meet the deadline.

Find a Parking Lot Easily

Every time my parents ask me where I have parked my car, and I tell them somewhere nearby, they always seem to view me with suspicion, as if I have just told them the largest lie. The next question they ask will always be, “You mean there are parking lots here?”

My parents always seem to have the impression that it is hard to find parking lots, especially at crowded areas. When I used to sit in their cars, I would always feel the frustration they had and they would have to circle round the car park a few times and wait for some time before getting a lot. So whenever I wanted food from a popular hawker centre such as Chomp Chomp, the excuse about how difficult it is to get a parking lot will come.

Yet, when I go there on my own, I will find a parking lot no matter how crowded the place is. That’s because I use the power of visualisation and the Law of Attraction. I will attract that parking lot even in a crowded place. My parents used the same technique, but they had only visualised the crowded area, and felt the frustration in waiting. Hence, they got what they wanted!

Initally, I met with some problems. I would always find another car right in front of me getting the lot that I had visualised. After wondering why it was not working, I realised that I had not been clear about how I had visualised my parking lot. I only visualised an empty parking lot. That visualisation benefited the car owner in front of me. He got the empty lot I envisioned.

So the next time I visualised the empty parking lot, I added something to it. I visualised my own ice metallic blue car reversing into the empty lot. Instead of just any parking lot, I also visualised it to be near the lift lobby, so that I did not have to walk far.

It has been working great for 90% of the time, when I bothered to visualise, especially if I know it is a crowded area. So, I tend to spend less time at the car park, and the other car owners who were also waiting for a lot, but had chosen to wait elsewhere would fume quietly about my “luck”.

Choosing Cheery Paintings

Le Vase Bleu de MadridPaintings reflect our personalities and so when we choose paintings, the type of art we go for tells others about our inner thoughts. People who choose bleak paintings might be going through a rough patch of isolation and despair, while others who choose happy paintings appear to be more optimistic. Hence, if you want to lift your spirits, go for paintings that are cheery.

Currently, Park West Art Gallery presents Jean-Claude Picot’s paintings. These Post-Impressionistic paintings are cheery and I love the vibrant colours he has used in these pictures of towns, nature. There are many types of medium used, including oil, watercolour, acrylic, ceramic and etching. I’m not an art connoisseur but I certainly know how to appreciate good paintings.

There are many other paintings at the art gallery. Go and take a look!

Heart Pains With Stocks Plunge

One of the papers mentioned a trader crying his heart out with news of possible recession in US. Some of the magazines already suggest that the US is already in the midst of a recession. Whatever the case is, those who had just lost a great deal of money may be unable to take the pressure.

For those with existing heart conditions, they may require some external device, ICD Implant, to help them, just in case their hearts stop. The device will deliver electrical pulse to the heart to get it going. This certainly beats waiting for people to rescue you. Despite calls for having heart defibrillator in buildings, legislation will take a long time to be passed.

It is important more important for people with pre-existing illnesses to strive for positive thinking. It is useless worrying about things that are not within your control.

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Just My Luck

clovercloverI borrowed a DVD today after a gym workout, and it was Just My Luck. It was about Lindsay Lohan having great luck in everything she did. The moment she stepped out of her building lobby, the rain stopped and the cab stopped right for her. She managed to get into an empty lift and get picked up by a rich man’s son. Next, she even got a job promotion after solving a major crisis.

One thing that struck me was that she had so much positivity. The Law of Attraction worked really well for her, so she did not believe that she was lucky. She just got what she wanted because she carried positive thoughts.

Now, the problem came when she kissed a guy who had the worst luck in the world. Their luck switched and she immediately got arrested, lost her job and broke her nose while in detention. He got a chance of his lifetime to get a new British band discovered by a music mogul.

About this guy, despite having bad luck for most part of his life, he did not blame himself. He still looked on the bright side of things, and was well prepared to solve any possible problems, such as keeping a poncho instead of an umbrella because he knew it would become a lightning rod with all the strong wind instead.

Even when Lohan was stuck in a janitor type job and had to scrape bubblegum and unclog the toilets, she learnt from mistakes quickly and did her best in everything.

Of course, this is a show, and anyone who is down on his or her luck will not be able to smile like her. But what was interesting was that when you keep getting something you want, even better things will come. In addition, what can go wrong will go wrong. You choose to keep a virtuous cycle as compared to being stuck in a vicious cycle.

Self Confidence- How To Improve It For Making More Money?

Self Confidence- How To Improve It For Making More Money? by cdmohatta

Self-confidence and making money go together. Have you ever met a person of very low self-confidence making lots of money? No, because unless some one is confident about themselves they cannot make money. Do you wish to make lots of money? Increase your self-confidence with these easy steps.

Forgive yourself every night about all the blunders you make during the day. Do not criticize yourself. Instead analyze your mistakes and find out what went wrong in a surgical manner. Do not involve any emotions. Analyze and find out how to correct things next time.’

Read books written by good authors. Write down the passages that you like. By writing, you develop hand and mind coordination and mind remembers the text more easily. Write down and paste the paper around the place you sit most.

Thank god and everybody else for any favor done to you. Attitude of gratitude is very important in life. When we express our thanks, we feel good. This feeling increases our confidence. Try it once and you will realize the relaxation and energy you feel.

Keep negative people away from you. There are many people who enjoy criticizing others. They try to put their friends down. Keep away from such people because they will take away your self-confidence. Keep company of those people who add to your confidence. Be with them who praise you for your achievements and qualities. They will add to your confidence.

Forget failures as soon as possible and remember your successes. Remembering failure makes us negative. Avoid that. Remember your good qualities and achievements. Thinking of failures makes us feel bad. That changes our thinking. Thinking of a smallest success makes us feel happy and adds to our confidence.

Help others whenever you get an opportunity. Smallest help will make you feel good. That will make you feel worthy and increase your self-esteem. Good luck.

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